i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
