Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
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