I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
