what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
