so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
