the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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