i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
