so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize