What a fucking waste of an outfit
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
