he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
