just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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