OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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