i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
there's paper in my vomit.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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