i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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