Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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