she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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