Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
