have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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