I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
