I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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