Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
