Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
