Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
