38 yer olds are good kisserssss
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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