White coat. Heels.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
