Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
