I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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