Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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