I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
