I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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