I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
