I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize