But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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