When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
