What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
