So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
