even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
