Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
