i need an iv and a liver transplant
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I met the friendliest cop last night
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize