I'm really into asian looking animals
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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