Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize