the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
