um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
