idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i was born a porn star she said
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
