i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize