If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
my being single is dangerous.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I want her autograph on my taint
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
