Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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