operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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