Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I'm having to shit out rocks
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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