the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
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Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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