i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize