I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
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I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
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I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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