Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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