The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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