Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
