She is in my trunk
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
