i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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