Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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