I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
