I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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