soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Floor bacon is actually really good
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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