thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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