I puked a lego.
and she was petting her beer can
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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